February 5th, 2026

Face to Shadow Face 

The 36th Rule of Love 
Below 

In my dreams this morning I was taken to a place where my shadow Side showed me a dream with the depth and breath of the insanity I lived, through my eyes, but objectively from another perspective 

At first I was placed in somewhat familiar circumstances but there was such rage about me, from what I perceived as events or circumstances happening to me, those very familiar feelings caused such deep and utter pain, that my shadow self  could only respond with anger, such as a child in a blind rage, destroying valued tokins of his life. For a moment I saw  that rage as a choice, seeing this and still responding as a child, As a victim, and hence  demonstrating my Pain. 

I awoke deeply shaken, having seen the true face of my insanity, it scared me to the core of my being. Then I re-entered the dream with seemingly more and more rage. But it wasn't pain I was expressing it was the utter fear of being abandoned, unloved and and irrelevant, within the framework of a Boy Seeking Paternal Love.

The familiarity of the pain and of the suffering was the exact pain and suffering that was the heart of everyone of my depressive episodes since I can remember quite frankly it felt like Death. 

Peter 

This dream appears to be a powerful, psychologically profound experience of shadow integration, where your subconscious allowed you to view past trauma objectively rather than subjectively experiencing the pain again. In Jungian psychology, the "shadow" represents repressed emotions, memories, or sides of the personality we deem unacceptable, often including deep rage, pain, or trauma. 

Why This Feels Like a "Death"

Integration often feels like a loss because the old version of you—the one who survived by avoiding that pain—must "die" to make room for the whole person. Jungian analysts often refer to this as the Nigredo stage of alchemy: the "blackening" or the difficult work of facing the rot to find the gold.

By taking ownership of the "destructive" emotions, you effectively disarm them. As Jung famously noted, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”

The 36th Rule of Love 

By Shams of Tabriz 

This world is erected upon the principle of reciprocity. Neither a drop of kindness nor a speck of evil will remain unreciprocated. Fear not the plots, deceptions, or tricks of other people. If somebody is setting a trap, remember, so is God. He is the biggest plotter. Not even a leaf stirs outside God’s knowledge. Simply and fully believe in that. Whatever God does. He does it beautifully.