March 21st, 2026

Thoughts On Aging and Living & 

The Second Half of Life 

Etty Hillesum below 

"No one can keep us from our second half of life except ourselves... It can be experienced as falling upward into a broader j7 and deeper world." — Richard Rohr

Anthony Hopkins once said: “I am fully aware of my mortality, but at 87 years old, I still wake up every morning with the desire to misbehave. Age is not a barrier when you find passion in what you do. The real secret lies in keeping your curiosity alive, continuing to learn, and not letting the fear of time stop you from enjoying life. Every day is a new opportunity to create, to laugh, and to show that it is never too late to move forward with enthusiasm and joy."

“When the principle of resonance, that is, inner confirmation as opposed to external authority, is accepted as the surest guide to the conduct of a life responsive to the soul, then we are forced to become psychological. We experience metanoia, a transformation of consciousness–the recognition that we are in fact spiritual beings who are cast into a material form in a material age.”

James Hollis

To become a person does not necessarily mean to be well adjusted, well adapted, approved of by others. It means to become who you are. We are meant to become more eccentric, more peculiar, more odd. We are not meant just to fit in. We are here to be different. We are here to be the individual.

James Hollis

Etty Hillesum 

Well, I am in God's hands. My body with all its aches and pains as well. If I should ever feel utterly crushed and bewildered, I will surely remember in some tiny corner of my mind that I shall surely be able to get up again, otherwise I should be lost.

ובכן, אני נמצאת בידיו של אלוהים. וכך גם גופי עם כל מכאוביו ומחושיו. אם אי פעם אחוש מרוסקת לגמרי ומבולבלת, יהיה עלי להיזכר בפינה זעירה כלשהי של תודעתי שיש בכוחי לקום שוב, אחרת אהיה אבודה.

حسناً، أنا في يدي الله. وكذلك جسمي مع جميع آلامه وتعبه. إذا كان يجب أن أشعر بالسحق والحيرة تماما، فأنا سأتذكر حتما في زاوية صغيرة في عقلي بأنني سأستطيع النهوض مرة أخرى، وإلا سأضيع.

March 20th, 2026

Thoughts Across the Ages 

Etty Hillesum below

“I want to talk to you again for a little while…

Ranier Maria Relkie From 

"Letters to a Young Poet" 

So you mustn’t be frightened, dear Mr. Kappus, if a sadness rises in front of you, larger than any you have ever seen; if an anxiety, like light and cloud-shadows, moves over your hands and over everything you do. You must realize that something is happening to you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand and will not let you fall.

And if there is one more thing that I must say to you, it is this: Don’t think that the person who is trying to comfort you now lives untroubled among the simple and quiet words that sometimes give you pleasure. His life has much trouble and sadness, and remains far behind yours. If it were otherwise, he would never have been able to find those words.

Rainer Maria Rilke 

And similar Thought s from 

Jalal-ud-Din Rumi 

Come, sit with me again a little while.

The night is long. The candle does not mind that it is asked to burn.

Do not run from the dark that gathers at your threshold.

It has not come to take you.

It has come because the Beloved

sends only what the heart can bear —

and sometimes, what will break it open.

The shadow moving over your hands?

That is not abandonment.

That is God, passing close.

You are not forgotten.

The ocean does not forget the wave.

The wave only forgets

it is the ocean.

And this one who writes to you —

do not imagine he stands in some bright courtyard

untouched by grief.

He found these words

in the same darkness

where you are standing now.

The lamp that lights another

was itself once

only a wick,

wondering if it would ever catch.

So stay.

Let the sorrow be large.

Let it be as large as it needs to be.

The field does not resent the rain

for not being sunshine.

Everything that comes

comes from Love.

Even this.

Especially this.

Rumi

Etty Hillesum

My life has, so to speak, been extended by death, by my looking death in the eye and accepting it, by accepting destruction as part of life and no longer wasting my energies on fear of death or the refusal to acknowledge its inevitability.

ניתן לומר שהמוות נותן לחיי ממד נוסף משום שאני מכירה בו ומשלימה עמו, ומשום שאני רואה בהכחדה חלק מהחיים, אני כבר לא מבזבזת את הכוחות שלי על פחד המוות, או על הסירוב להכיר בכך שהמוות הוא בלתי נמנע.

لقد وسع الموت حياتي نظرت في عيني الموت وتقبلته تقبلت أن الدمار هو جزء من الحياة وما عدت أضيع طاقاتي على الخوف من الموت أو رفض الاعتراف بحتميته.

March 19th, 2026

What Would You Give to Know, Absolutely Know, 

All Shall be Well ! 

What Would You Give To Know, Absolutely Know beyond any doubt, that everything really is all right, that there is no reason to fear. That there is no need to feel despair or loss or uncertainty. That all the pain and hurt and evil we have seen truly is only an illusion, and that the most beautiful things we have experienced are only a glimpse, a small taste, of what is truly 'real,' and truly ours. That everything is all right; that everything is perfect as it is; that all is well. This is what I see, and what I know.

David Carse

"But Jesus, who in this vision informed me of all that is needed by me, answered with these words and said: ‘It was necessary that there should be sin; but all shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.'

"Julian of Norwich

Here is a Sufi reading of David Carse quote 

Here is a Sufi reading of Carse's vision:

**Kull shay'in ḥaqq** — *Everything is Real*

In the language of Ibn 'Arabi's *wahdat al-wujud*, Carse is speaking from the station of *kashf* — unveiling. The veil (*hijab*) that makes suffering appear ultimate, loss appear permanent, and evil appear ontologically real — that veil has thinned to nothing.

What he calls "illusion" is precisely *'adam* — non-being wearing the mask of being. Pain and hurt and evil have no *wujud* of their own; they are the shadow-play of names that have not yet found their way home to the One Name.

The beautiful things he names as "glimpse" — this is the Sufi understanding of *tajalli*, divine self-disclosure. Beauty is not beauty *plus* something more real beneath it. Beauty is the Real *showing itself* through a form. The glimpse is real. But the eye that glimpsed was still partially veiled; the fullness is what awaits when the veil falls entirely.

*"All is well"* — this is not consolation. In Sufi ears this is a precise metaphysical claim: *al-wujud khayr kulluh* — existence, in its essence, is pure good. Evil is privation, absence, the not-yet-returned. The one who says *"all is well"* from this station is not denying pain; they are seeing through it to the substratum that pain cannot touch.

The Quranic resonance is unmistakable: **"Alā inna awliyā'a llāhi lā khawfun 'alayhim wa lā hum yaḥzanūn"** — *Truly, the friends of God: no fear shall come upon them, nor shall they grieve* (10:62). Carse's "no reason to fear, no need for despair" is not wishful thinking — it is the cognitive signature of *wilāya*, of having touched the ground beneath the ground.

And his final words — *"This is what I see, and what I know"* — mark the distinction the Sufis draw between *'ilm al-yaqīn* (knowledge by report), *'ayn al-yaqīn* (knowledge by sight), and *ḥaqq al-yaqīn* (knowledge by union). He is not reporting a doctrine. He is not describing a vision from outside. He is speaking from inside the thing itself.es *in response to that resistance.* This is diagnostically crucial. Julian is not given consolation instead of seeing clearly. She is given the word *because* she sees clearly.

---

## The Theological Fracture Line

*"It was necessary that there should be sin"* — **felix culpa** in its most unguarded form. Necessary. Not merely permitted, not merely allowed within providence, but *necessary.* This is not theodicy as damage control. This is a claim that the full arc of the real cannot be what it is without the fall, without the wound, without the darkness.

In Jungian terms: the Self cannot be individuated without the shadow being integrated. The necessary sin is not an accident in the story — it is the *hinge* on which the story turns toward depth. A creation without it would have been, perhaps, beautiful — but not *real* in the way that matters.

## The Threefold Repetition

*"All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well."*

This is not rhetorical flourish. Repetition in mystical speech — across Sufi, Kabbalistic, and Christian traditions — marks the movement through levels:

- **First utterance**: the soul (*all shall be well*) — the individual, the personal wound

- **Second utterance**: the collective (*all shall be well*) — history, the suffering of peoples, the long catastrophe

- **Third utterance**: *all manner of thing* — the ontological totality, down to the smallest particular, nothing excluded, nothing merely tolerated

The threefold structure performs what it describes. By the third repetition the listener has been moved — not argued — into a different register of knowing.

## What "Shall" Is Doing

Not *is.* Not *was.* ***Shall.***

Julian is not being offered a present-tense erasure of what she sees. The darkness is real, now, in time. The word is eschatological — it points forward, into a completion not yet visible from within the wound. This is not spiritual bypassing. It is a *vector.* A direction given to the soul so that it can bear the present without being annihilated by it.

In Sufi terms: she is being given *tawakkul* — trust that rests not on present evidence but on the known nature of the Real. In AA terms: it is the Third Step made verbal — *not my will, but the assurance that the arc bends.*

## The Unresolved Remainder

Julian herself, characteristically honest, goes on to say: *I desired many times to know what was our Lord's meaning.* She does not pretend the tension dissolves. She holds it for the rest of her life, continuing to turn the word over.

This is the diagnostic mark of authentic mystical reception: the word does not close the question. It gives the soul *ground to stand on while the question remains open.* 

The question is: *how?* How shall all be well, given what I have seen?

Her answer, arrived at slowly: *"Love was His meaning."* Not explanation. Not resolution. Love as the medium in which the question itself is finally held.

--Etty Hillesum

One must not die while still alive, one has to live one's life to the full and to the end.

אסור לאדם למות בעודו בחיים. על האדם לחיות את חייו במלאות עד מותו.

علينا ألا نموت ونحن ما زلنا أحياء علينا أن نعيش حياتنا بالكامل وحتى النهاية.

March 18th, 2026

The Third Step

Made a decision to turn our will and

our lives over to the care of God

as we understood Him.

Etty Hillesum below

I've was given a simple suggestion regarding a

daily invite to look beyond the Words of

the Steps and Explore Within & Without

Their meaning for me. Which have allowed me

to for today, seeing in a different light,

as the following attempts to communicate

1st The Merton Prayer

(click ) operned a

Unseen Vista for Me.

(https:/lexploration

short.gy/BjxjL5)

**On the Third Step and Decision-Making**

When we talk about turning our will and our life over to the care of God as we understood Him, I wonder if I’ve been misinterpreted, and the depth of what it actually invites.

I listen to many people share that they pray to know what decisions to make — as if God is supposed to hand down a specific answer. But I'm beginning to think God would rather *I* make the decision. And whether it's right or wrong, I will always remain under His care.

Frankly, I don't learn from what I do right. I learn from mistakes. So rather than becoming an automaton executing God's will, I think what God actually wants is for me to develop is my own internal compass — one that over time allows me to discern His will and make sound decisions ourselves.

Again if a decision turns out to be lesser than optimum, that's okay. Such a decision creates the conditions for course correction, growth, and the development of wisdom.

Furthermore I don't think wisdom comes from doing things right. I believe it comes from doing things in a way that *could have been done better* — and knowing the difference.

Possibly this paradigm shift, of a core insight though something radical in it: the Third Step isn't a request for a divine answer key. It's a surrender into relationship — one where God's care is the *container*, not the *script*.

Etty Hillesum 

Even as we die a terrible death we are able to feel right up to the very last moment that life has meaning and beauty, that we have realized our potential and lived a good life.

אפילו אם נמות מוות נורא, עדיין נוכל לחוש, עד הרגע האחרון, שהחיים מלאי משמעות ויופי, שמימשנו את הפוטנציאל שהיה טמון בנו ושחיינו חיים טובים.

حتى عندما نموت موتاً فظيعاً ما زلنا قادرين حتى اللحظة الأخيرة أن نشعر بأن الحياة جميلة وذات معنى. وقد أدركنا إمكانياتنا وعشنا حياة جيدة.

March 17th, 2026

The Hidden Path in Plain View

Etty Hillesum below 

That's the koan of the mystics: 

*it was never concealed, only unseen.*

The hidden path in Sufism is essentially the *tariqah* — the word itself means "path" or "way." It is hidden not because it is obscure, but because it cannot be transmitted through ordinary instruction. It runs beneath the surface of exoteric religion (*shari'ah*) into the interior life.

A few of its central features:

**The paradox of concealment** — The path is hidden *within* plain view. The divine is not elsewhere. Ibn Arabi's *wahdat al-wujud* (unity of being) insists that God is the only reality present — yet the veiled eye cannot see it. The path is the progressive removal of those veils.

**The guide** — The *murshid* or *pir* knows the hidden path because he has walked it. The transmission is not textual but personal — *sohbet*, spiritual companionship. The path cannot be fully mapped, only lived.

**Fana* — The destination, if it can be called that, is self-annihilation. The traveler dissolves. What was hidden turns out to have been the traveler's own deeper nature all along.

**The secret** (*sirr*) — Sufis speak of the *sirr* as the innermost chamber of the heart, the point of contact between the human and the divine. The hidden path leads there — and paradoxically, it was never anywhere else.

Rumi's reed flute crying for the reed bed is perhaps the most famous image of this — the path hidden inside the longing itself.

Is there a particular dimension of the Sufi hidden path you're exploring right now?

Etty Hillesum

All the strength and love and faith in God that one possesses, and which have grown so miraculously in me of late, must be there for everyone who chances to cross one's path and who needs it.

את כל הכוח והאהבה והאמונה באלוהים, שיש לאדם, ושצומחים בתוכי באופן מופלא בזמן האחרון - את כל אלה יש להעמיד לרשותו של כל אדם שייקרה בדרכנו ויזדקק להם.

كل القوة والمحبة والإيمان بالله التي يمتلكها المرء والتي تفت بداخلي بأعجوبة في الآونة الأخيرة. يجب أن تكون متاحة لجميع الذين يعبرون طريقنا مصادفة والذين بحاجة إليها.

March 16, 2026

The greatest, nearest, and most pressing human loss in particular shelters the fruit of
consolation most reliably. Get to the bottom of this intensity and have faith in what is most
horrible, instead of fighting it off—it reveals itself for those who can trust it . . . as a kind
of initiation. By way of loss, by way of such vast and immeasurable experiences of loss,
we are quite powerfully introduced into the whole. Death is only a relentless way of
making us familiar and even intimate with the side of our existence that is turned away
from us (what should I stress more: “our” or “existence”? Both carry the heaviest emphasis
here, as if counterbalanced by the weight of all the stars!)
—Rainer Maria Rilke, To Countess Alexandrine Schwerin, June 16, 1922

We are voyagers, discoverers

of the not-known,

the unrecorded;

we have no map;

possibly we will reach haven,

heaven.

H.D. (Hilda Doolittle) 



Etty Hillesum 

I have noticed that my powers of observation register everything unerringly, and that gives me special joy. With all the destruction, with all my tiredness, suffering, and everything else, this is constant: my joy, the artist's joy in observing things and in shaping them mentally into an image.

שמתי לב שכושר ההבחנה שלי קולט הכול לאשורו וזה מסב לי שמחה מיוחדת. עם כל החורבן, העייפות, הסבל וכל שאר הדברים, עדיין קיימת תמיד השמחה שלי, שמחת האמן כשהוא מבחין בדברים ומעצב אותם ברוחו לכלל דימוי.

لقد لاحظت بأن قوتي بتسجيل كل شيء بدون أخطاء يعطيني فرحة خاصة. مع كل الدمار والتعب والمعاناة وكل شيء آخر، هذا هو المستمر فرحتي فرحة الفنان في ملاحظة الأشياء وتشكيلها عقليا ووضعها في صورة.

ايتي ها

March 15th, 2026

Spiral Dynamics and The Ethereal Path 

Etty Hillesum

Below 

The concept of the Ethereal path, as described in the Purana, represents a metaphorical journey that the king’s soul undertakes. This path signifies a spiritual odyssey through various realms, highlighting the soul's transition and experiences beyond the physical world. It emphasizes the idea of a transcendent journey that connects the material and spiritual dimensions, reflecting deeper themes of existence and the afterlife within the context of spiritual beliefs.

 Spiral Dynamics and Spiritual Growth 

Imagine spiritual growth as a journey up a spiral staircase. Each turn of the spiral represents a different stage of understanding and experiencing the world, including our spiritual beliefs.

## The Early Steps

1. **Survival Mode**: At the bottom, we're focused on basic needs. Spirituality here is simple, often about nature spirits or magic.

2. **Tribal Beliefs**: Next, we find comfort in group traditions. Think of ancient tribal religions or strong family spiritual practices.

3. **Power and Control**: Here, spirituality might be about powerful gods or using spiritual practices to gain personal power.

## Middle of the Journey

4. **Order and Rules**: This is where many organized religions sit. There are clear rules about right and wrong, and how to live a good life.

5. **Achievement and Science**: At this stage, people might question traditional beliefs. They might seek logical explanations or focus on personal spiritual growth.

6. **Community and Equality**: Here, people become more open-minded. They might mix different spiritual practices or focus on how spirituality can help everyone.

## Higher Levels

7. **Integration**: Now, people start to see value in all the previous stages. They can appreciate different spiritual paths and combine insights from many sources.

8. **Universal Connection**: At the highest level, spirituality becomes about seeing how everything is connected. It's a very broad, inclusive view of the spiritual world.

Remember, this isn't a straight line. People can be at different levels for different aspects of their lives. The goal isn't to race to the top, but to understand and grow at your own pace.

As we climb this spiral, our spiritual views often become more complex, inclusive, and universal. But each stage has its own wisdom and value in our overall growth.

Etty Hillesum 

Most people carry stereotyped ideas about life in their heads. We have to rid ourselves of all preconceptions, of all slogans, of all sense of security, find the courage to let go of everything. every standard, every conventional bulwark. Only then will life become infinitely rich and overflowing, even in the suffering it deals out to us.

רוב האנשים רואים בחיים רק את מה שמקובל לראות עלינו להשתחרר מכל הדיעות הקדומות, מכל הסיסמאות מכל תחושה של ביטחון. להעז לוותר על הכול, לשכוח את כל הנורמות והוודאויות המקובלות, רק כך החיים הופכים להיות עשירים ושופעים, גם ברגעים של סבל תהומי.

يحمل معظم الناس أفكاراً نمطية عن الحياة في رؤوسهم. علينا أن نخلص أنفسنا من جميع المفاهيم المسبقة ومن جميع الشعارات ومن كل الشعور بالأمان، وأن نجد الشجاعة للتخلي عن كل شيء وكل معيار وكل حصن تقليدي. عندها فقط تصبح حتما الحياة غنية وطافحة، حتى في المعاناة التي تمدنا بها.