Nature, and the things we live with and use, precede us and come after us. But they are, so long as we are here, our possession and our friendship. They know us with our needs and our pleasures, as the did those of our ancestors, whose trusted companions they were.
So it follows that all that is here is not to be despised and put down but, precisely because it did precede us, to be taken by us with the innermost understanding that these appearances and things must seen and transformed.
Transformed? Yes. For our task is to take this earth so deeply an wholly into ourselves that it will resurrect within our being. We are bees of the invisible. Passionately we plunder the honey of the visible in order to gather it in the great golden hive of the invisible.
i am in the second half of life now. the frantic pace has quieted.
i used to think wholeness meant erasing what broke — my father, my brother, my marriage, the years i spent believing the wrong story about them.
~
the gnostics said a spark of the divine falls into matter and forgets itself. it wakes only when it remembers, when it sees the truth of what it fell into. i think i have been asleep inside my own history — mistaking the myth i told about my brother for the truth of him.
~
rilke says our task is to take this earth so deeply into ourselves that it resurrects within our being. so i have stopped running from the history and started plundering it. this is my gnosis — not escape from the material, but recognition inside it.
i sit with a strained conversation, an old misconception, and i work it like a bee works a flower — pulling the nectar out, leaving the myth behind.
~
it is a slow metabolism. not fixing the past. eating it.
what was cold fact becomes the substance of who i am becoming. this is how the sweetness survives what is only visible.
this is how the spark remembers itself.
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